


Avengers Assemble

by Isabear



Category: AO3 Tags, Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Avengers made me do it, Crack, Found Poem, Gen, I solemnly swear I am up to no good, Look What Tags Hath Wrought, Poetry, oh fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-03
Updated: 2012-10-03
Packaged: 2017-11-15 13:56:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/528036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isabear/pseuds/Isabear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/tags/I%20don't%20really%20get%20this%20tagging%20system">I don't really get this tagging system</a>
  <br/>
  <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Abandon%20Hope%20All%20Ye%20Who%20Enter%20Here">Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here</a>
</p><p>(A found poem using AO3 tags, because Avengers fandom is awesome)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Original Version

**Author's Note:**

> [Author may be waxing too much poetic](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Author%20may%20be%20waxing%20too%20much%20poetic)   
>  [Why do you people let me do this?](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Why%20do%20you%20people%20let%20me%20do%20this*q*)

[It All Started So Innocently](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/It%20All%20Started%20So%20Innocently)  
[Written before the movie](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Written%20before%20the%20movie)  
[what could possibly go wrong with that](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/what%20could%20possibly%20go%20wrong%20with%20that)

[All Aboard the Feels Express](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/All%20Aboard%20the%20Feels%20Express)

 

[Steve is made of feelings and muscles](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Steve%20is%20made%20of%20feelings%20and%20muscles)  
[Steve/art](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Steve*s*art)  
[this pairing has consumed me](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/this%20pairing%20has%20consumed%20me)

[Thor is a Golden Retriever puppy](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Thor%20is%20a%20Golden%20Retriever%20puppy)  
[Asgardians are party animals](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Asgardians%20are%20party%20animals)

[Tony doesn't have issues he has a suscription](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Tony%20doesn't%20have%20issues%20he%20has%20a%20suscription)  
[living down to expectations](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/living%20down%20to%20expectations)

[Clint Lives in the Air Ducts](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Clint%20Lives%20in%20the%20Air%20Ducts)  
[Which is a little skewed and a lot repressed](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Which%20is%20a%20little%20skewed%20and%20a%20lot%20repressed)

[Everything would be sadness without Natasha](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Everything%20would%20be%20sadness%20without%20Natasha)  
[Kicking all the ass](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Kicking%20all%20the%20ass)

[Bruce is better behaved than you think](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Bruce%20is%20better%20behaved%20than%20you%20think)  
[(emotionally speaking)](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/\(emotionally%20speaking\))  
[Solving life's problems with science](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Solving%20life's%20problems%20with%20science)

 

[The Avengers are appallingly immature sometimes](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/The%20Avengers%20are%20appallingly%20immature%20sometimes)

[poker between egotistical superheroes is never a good idea](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/poker%20between%20egotistical%20superheroes%20is%20never%20a%20good%20idea)  
[pepper and natasha trash talk each other and play video games](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/pepper%20and%20natasha%20trash%20talk%20each%20other%20and%20play%20video%20games)

[repeat after me the arc reactor is not a nightlight](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/repeat%20after%20me%20the%20arc%20reactor%20is%20not%20a%20nightlight)  
[hawkeye - it's not a toy](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/hawkeye%20-%20it's%20not%20a%20toy)  
[Pepper can kill you with a shoe](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Pepper%20can%20kill%20you%20with%20a%20shoe)

[loki could kick thor and captain america's asses at table tennis](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/loki%20could%20kick%20thor%20and%20captain%20america's%20asses%20at%20table%20tennis)  
[Thor nobly sacrifices his clothes to protect Steve's virtue](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Thor%20nobly%20sacrifices%20his%20clothes%20to%20protect%20Steve's%20virtue)  
[Steve's smile can bake apple pie](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Steve's%20smile%20can%20bake%20apple%20pie)  


[Darcy just wants Loki to watch a goddamn Disney movie](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Darcy%20just%20wants%20Loki%20to%20watch%20a%20goddamn%20Disney%20movie)  
[and then hulk makes her a rose out of stop signs](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/and%20then%20hulk%20makes%20her%20a%20rose%20out%20of%20stop%20signs)  
[now someone go tell Bruce](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/now%20someone%20go%20tell%20Bruce)

[Clint F. Barton does NOT Poledance](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Clint%20F*d*%20Barton%20does%20NOT%20Poledance)  
[Thor that is not how you use a gun](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Thor%20that%20is%20not%20how%20you%20use%20a%20gun)

[Tony probably hasn't created a clone army just to annoy Natasha but it's only a matter of time](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Tony%20probably%20hasn't%20created%20a%20clone%20army%20just%20to%20annoy%20Natasha%20but%20it's%20only%20a%20matter%20of%20time)

[assassin war games](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/assassin%20war%20games)  
[in the ceiling](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/in%20the%20ceiling)  
[And Then It Got Out of Hand](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/And%20Then%20It%20Got%20Out%20of%20Hand)

[JARVIS learns to sigh](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/JARVIS%20learns%20to%20sigh)

[Supernanny Coulson](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Supernanny%20Coulson)  
[near death experiences do not exclude you from paperwork](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/near%20death%20experiences%20do%20not%20exclude%20you%20from%20paperwork)

[Everyone in the Avengers Verse needs more love](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Everyone%20in%20the%20Avengers%20Verse%20needs%20more%20love)  
[right in the pheels](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/right%20in%20the%20pheels)

 

[Loki Does What He Wants](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Loki%20Does%20What%20He%20Wants)  
[and is also a ventriloquist](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/and%20is%20also%20a%20ventriloquist)  
[Because author makes stuff up like that for fun](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Because%20author%20makes%20stuff%20up%20like%20that%20for%20fun)

[Bucky is the plucky anti-hero](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Bucky%20is%20the%20plucky%20anti-hero)  
[fighting the mind control](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/fighting%20the%20mind%20control)

[Rhodey thinks Tony kidnapped Bruce](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Rhodey%20thinks%20Tony%20kidnapped%20Bruce)  
[It's really only slashy if you're in my brain with me](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/It's%20really%20only%20slashy%20if%20you're%20in%20my%20brain%20with%20me)

[darcy being darcy](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/darcy%20being%20darcy)  
[Comes with a built in apology](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Comes%20with%20a%20built%20in%20apology)  
[plus coulson!](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/plus%20coulson!)

[Somehow Jane and Darcy time travel](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Somehow%20Jane%20and%20Darcy%20time%20travel)  
[oops I trousered my timeline](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/oops%20I%20trousered%20my%20timeline)  
[How did this happen?](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/How%20did%20this%20happen*q*)

[damn you avengers i dont have time for this](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/damn%20you%20avengers%20i%20dont%20have%20time%20for%20this)  
[Fury has a mission to kick your ass--and clearance for it](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Fury%20has%20a%20mission%20to%20kick%20your%20ass--and%20clearance%20for%20it)  
[Go the Fuck to Sleep](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Go%20the%20Fuck%20to%20Sleep)

 

[Mythology In-Jokes](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Mythology%20In-Jokes)  
[Noodle Incidents](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Noodle%20Incidents)  
[Suit Porn](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Suit%20Porn)  
[Gratuitous Shawarma](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Gratuitous%20Shawarma)  
[marvel do not approve of this and neither does norway](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/marvel%20do%20not%20approve%20of%20this%20and%20neither%20does%20norway)  
[The Author Regrets Nothing](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/The%20Author%20Regrets%20Nothing)

[Avengers Tower is basically a giant clubhouse](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Avengers%20Tower%20is%20basically%20a%20giant%20clubhouse)  
[Chopping & Changing Mythology Like Nobody's Business](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Chopping%20&%20Changing%20Mythology%20Like%20Nobody's%20Business)  
[Give me a universe and I shall play with it](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Give%20me%20a%20universe%20and%20I%20shall%20play%20with%20it)

[Who doesn't want to hug Captain America?](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Who%20doesn't%20want%20to%20hug%20Captain%20America*q*)  
[HAPPY BIRTHDAY HULK.](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/HAPPY%20BIRTHDAY%20HULK*d*)

[Maria isn’t being paid enough](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Maria%20isn%E2%80%99t%20being%20paid%20enough)  
[and Pepper and Bruce watch from the sidelines and snigger](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/and%20Pepper%20and%20Bruce%20watch%20from%20the%20sidelines%20and%20snigger)  
[Fury wonders how this is his life](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Fury%20wonders%20how%20this%20is%20his%20life)

 

[from henceforth the Avengers are banned from doing anything ever again](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/from%20henceforth%20the%20Avengers%20are%20banned%20from%20doing%20anything%20ever%20again)  
[until they do](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/until%20they%20do)  
[Mission Reports](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Mission%20Reports)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This came out of nowhere](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/This%20came%20out%20of%20nowhere)   
> [it's all fandom's fault](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/it's%20all%20fandom's%20fault)   
> [author mysteriously still not banned from using the english language](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/author%20mysteriously%20still%20not%20banned%20from%20using%20the%20english%20language)
> 
> Actual Notes: I disclaim any responsibility for this; none of these tags are mine, including the title. All tags used came from Avenger-related works and are in their original form (punctuation, capitalization, and spelling included), but are taken wildly out of context. Viva la tag search!
> 
> Also: This poem is not intended to encourage this kind of tagging. ( ~~I have to say that so the poor tag wranglers don't cry.~~ ) My use of any given tag is not meant to imply that the original tagger endorsed these shenanigans or would approve.
> 
> If you really like a tag, try clicking on it to see where it goes!
> 
> ETA: Posted the formatted version (no links, smoother capitalization, punctuation, etc.) as chapter 2. If you had trouble parsing the original, you might find that version easier to read.
> 
> ETA2: I have it on good authority in the comments that tag wranglers do not actually cry when faced with eclectic tagging (and some say they enjoy it), so striking that bit out. Also should have said thank you to all the wonderful creators who made these tags and the wranglers who organize them. You all rock!


	2. Formatted Version

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the formatted, unlinked, properly capitalized, punctuated version of the poem, for those who prefer to read without the distraction of links.

It all started so innocently,  
written before the movie.  
What could possibly go wrong with that?

All aboard the Feels Express!

 

Steve is made of feelings and muscles.  
(Steve/art! This pairing has consumed me.)

Thor is a Golden Retriever puppy  
(Asgardians are party animals).

Tony doesn't have issues, he has a subscription  
("Living Down to Expectations").

Clint lives in the air ducts,  
which is a little skewed and a lot repressed.

Everything would be sadness without Natasha  
kicking all the ass.

Bruce is better behaved than you think (emotionally speaking),  
solving life's problems with science.

 

The Avengers are appallingly immature sometimes...

Poker between egotistical superheroes is never a good idea.  
(Pepper and Natasha trash talk each other and play video games.)

Repeat after me: "The Arc Reactor is not a nightlight."  
(Hawkeye - it's not a toy!  
Pepper can kill you with a shoe....)

Loki could kick Thor and Captain America's asses at table tennis!  
(Thor nobly sacrifices his clothes to protect Steve's virtue;  
Steve's smile can bake apple pie.)

Darcy just wants Loki to watch a goddamn Disney movie,  
and then hulk makes her a rose out of stop signs.  
(Now someone go tell Bruce.)

Clint F. Barton does NOT pole dance -  
Thor, that is not how you use a gun!

(Tony probably hasn't created a clone army just to annoy Natasha, but it's only a matter of time.)

Assassin war games  
in the ceiling,  
and then it got out of hand....

(JARVIS learns to sigh)

Supernanny Coulson,  
near death experiences do not exclude you from paperwork.

Everyone in the Avengers Verse needs more love,  
right in the pheels!

 

Loki does what he wants  
and is also a ventriloquist  
because author makes stuff up like that for fun. :)

Bucky is the plucky anti-hero,  
fighting the mind control!

Rhodey thinks Tony kidnapped Bruce.  
(It's really only slashy if you're in my brain with me.)

Darcy being Darcy  
comes with a built in apology,  
plus Coulson!

Somehow Jane and Darcy time travel.  
(Oops I trousered my timeline!  
How did this happen?)

Damn you Avengers! I don't have time for this.  
Fury has a mission to kick your ass--and clearance for it.  
Go the fuck to sleep!

 

Mythology in-jokes,  
noodle incidents,  
suit porn,  
gratuitous shawarma:  
Marvel does not approve of this, and neither does Norway.  
(The author regrets nothing!)

Avengers Tower is basically a giant clubhouse,  
chopping and changing mythology like nobody's business.  
Give me a universe and I shall play with it!

(Who doesn't want to hug Captain America?...  
Happy birthday Hulk!)

Maria isn’t being paid enough,  
and Pepper and Bruce watch from the sidelines and snigger.  
Fury wonders how this is his life.

 

From henceforth the Avengers are banned from doing anything ever again  
until they do  
mission reports.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I have all these silly images in my head of things like Steve getting a giant hug from a Hulk with a birthday hat, and a kitchen full of Tony clones grinning at a horrified Natasha (you can tell she's horrified by the slight widening of her eyes and the fact that she already has a knife in one hand), and Clint explaining that he will not, will not, with a pole. Seuss-style.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Timey Wimey Antics](https://archiveofourown.org/works/628718) by [lost_spook](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_spook/pseuds/lost_spook)
  * [Elves Behaving Badly](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2716874) by [Chantress](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chantress/pseuds/Chantress)




End file.
